The Castle Challenges
by Tanya Reed
Summary: Stories written for Castle challenges.
1. Waiting

Waiting

by Tanya Reed

Notes: This was written as a part of the LAS_ABC challenge on LiveJournal. The challenge was to write a story 100-1000 words long with the prompt of diner/drive-in/dive

Spoilers for the end of season two and the beginning of season three.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. I make no profit with this story.

XX

Rick Castle sat in the small booth, twirling the straw on his large strawberry milkshake. The thick pink liquid swirled, making abstract designs through the clear glass. He watched it absently, his mind a million miles away.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since he had packed up his summer life and trudged back to his life in New York. Two weeks since he'd eagerly started waiting for her to call. Two weeks since he had realized that Beckett had probably forgotten all about him.

That's why he was here. It was the third time in two weeks that he had come to this diner and ordered a hamburger and a milkshake because this place reminded him of her. Once, after a strange case and disastrous dates with other people, they had found themselves here, eating and laughing.

Rick sighed and dropped the straw. For a couple of seconds afterwards, the liquid continued to spin. It reminded him of his own thoughts. In one way, he was glad Beckett had found someone to keep her so happy that she hadn't bothered to call him. In another, very selfish way, he missed her so much that it had caused a permanent ache deep in his chest. He'd give anything if she would just call and say she needed him. He'd even settle for knowing that she still wanted him around. But the phone never rang.

Several times over the previous four months, he had been tempted to call her. He found himself reaching for his phone, craving the sound of her voice. One thought stopped him. It was that image he had in his mind of Beckett and Demming. Rick was afraid that it would kill him if she just brushed him off or if he heard Demming in the background.

It wasn't that Kate was in a relationship, Rick told himself, taking another bite of a hamburger that had started to taste like sawdust. After all, he was in a relationship, of sorts, himself. It was the feeling that she didn't want or need him anymore. That cut him. It hurt more than he would have ever expected it to.

As he sadly ate the rest of his hamburger, he wondered if she'd ever call. He wondered what he'd say to her if she did. Most of all, he wondered what he'd do if she didn't call.

On that depressing thought, he got to his feet. After taking one more last drink of his milkshake, he threw enough money on the table to cover his tab and leave a generous tip.

He walked through the door, forcing his mind to think of Gina and book tours and a Nikki Heat that was separate from Kate. The air was crisp as it brushed his face and full of the smells of fall.

In the distance, Rick could hear the wail of a police siren. His thoughts flashed to a picture of her getting out of her car, her expression intent, her green eyes unreadable. He had seen this picture many times over the year and a half he had shadowed her. This time, though, the picture in his mind was different.

This time, the person getting out of the other side of her car wasn't him.

The End


	2. The Unknown Truth

The Unknown Truth

By Tanya Reed

This is another of my challenge entries for the ABC Last Author Standing community (and I won!) The challenge was: "A known mistake is better than an unknown truth." This story came almost immediately into my head when I read it. I hope you guys like it.

Warnings: Death Fic Warning, spoilers for the second season finale

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. It belongs to ABC.

XXX

Kate Beckett stood looking out over the sad array of faces. Many of them were familiar, but most of them were not. His family, his friends, and even some fans and the media packed the large and solemn room. As amazing as it seemed, these were just a few of the mourners. Even more waited outside of the big front doors.

In the front row, Martha and Alexis supported each other. The aging diva had just given a wonderful speech about her son, and most of those gathered were now weeping openly. Alexis was one of these, her face very young and childlike in her grief. Martha herself was dry-eyed, showing an inner core of steel as she held her granddaughter.

Kate tried to focus on them or anything that could silence the gunshots that echoed in her mind. They bounced around her skull, over and over, forcing her to see the scene that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Sleep had been elusive since it happened, and when she could actually sleep, she was jarred awake by the sound of those shots.

She still couldn't believe he was gone. It didn't seem like the world could possibly go on without a Richard Castle in it. She didn't know if her own ever could. Her heart ached for Martha and Alexis, but it ached just as much for herself. It was impossible that she'd never see him again. His smile could light up a room. He was like a sweet little boy who just wanted to make the world right. How could she face not seeing him again? He had shown her so much in the years he had been her friend, and she had never told him. She had been so afraid to tell him how much he meant to her.

How long since she'd realized that she loved him? She pondered this as Captain Montgomery sat down and a man who'd known Castle since childhood took his place. Thinking back, she realized it had been last summer when she saw him walking away with Gina. At the same time, she had known that to ever tell him would be a mistake. They would be a mistake.

As she listened to Castle's friend talk, her mind wandered to the years ahead. Where would she be in six months without Castle? A year? Five years? Her life would go on and on, and he would be gone.

He was really gone.

For the past four days, she had been wandering around in a numb fog. She hadn't cried; she hadn't screamed. She'd been waiting for Castle to come out of hiding and tell her that this had been his best joke yet. But this wasn't a joke. There was no Castle. There never would be a Castle again. Ever.

Her breath caught in her throat as her stomach rolled over. The room began to spin. Air. She needed air. The room full of people had sucked up all the oxygen, and she was going to smother.

She knew she was supposed to speak next. They expected her to sum up a life that had been both complex and contradictory in just a few short paragraphs. Leaving would expose her as weak and vulnerable. Even so, she couldn't stay there another second. If she didn't get out of there, she would keel over, right on Castle's casket.

Kate turned quickly, blindly making her way to the back exit. Her swimming vision showed her shapes and colors, but it was all blurred.

Her face flamed because she knew they were all staring at her, but she couldn't stop. If she stopped, her lungs would burst.

It seemed to take forever to get to the door. She fumbled with it until she had almost given up on it ever opening. When it did, she stumbled outside into the warm New York sunshine. The air was tainted with smog and gasoline, but the scent was so familiar that it was almost comforting.

Her stomach clenched and turned over again. Her hand against the side of the building supported her as she doubled over and retched. The little she had eaten violently left her body. When her stomach was empty, she retched again, bringing up bile.

When she could stand, she moved on trembling legs away from the door she'd come out of. She couldn't go back in there again. She couldn't see his motionless body or hear the constant reinforcement that he was dead.

When her legs shook too much to hold her, she gave in and let herself slide down the brick of the old building Castle himself had chosen for his service. She sat there, unable to move, thinking of what could have been.

She knew he cared for her. She knew he sometimes even wanted to love her. What would that have been like, she wondered. Would it have been the mistake she feared, or would waking up next to Castle every morning have been a glorious adventure? She would have known what his touch felt like, what his kisses tasted like. All the things she had ever wanted to know but had been afraid to find out filled her mind.

It might have been a mistake, but at least she would have known.

She would have known.


	3. Christmas Cookies

Christmas Cookies

by Tanya Reed

Notes: This was another entry for the ABC_LAS challenge. I won this one too. :) I hope you like it. It takes place in the same future universe as my "Happy New Year" story.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Castle, darn it.

XXX

Kate moved awkwardly around the kitchen, her stomach brushing against the sideboard as she reached above her head for the ingredients she would need.

Around her, the apartment was bright with Christmas cheer. Green and red were splashed everywhere. Holly, mistletoe, and ribbon decorated walls and flat surfaces. In the living area of the great room, there was a huge, twinkling tree with an obscene amount of presents beneath it.

She glanced up to reach for the sugar and smiled when she saw the sprig of mistletoe dangling just over her head.

Rick loved Christmas.

She was starting to love it again too. Christmas spent with the Castles reminded her of the ones she had enjoyed as a child, when her mother was alive and the holidays meant family and joy.

Kate rubbed a hand over her round belly as she felt her baby move restlessly. She had really missed those family Christmases.

She began to hum a Christmas song as she took out the milk and eggs. Her body protested as she knelt to reach in a bottom cupboard for a pan. Most of the pans in there were shiny and new. Expensive, like everything else Rick owned. Kate bypassed these. Most of the time, when she actually did the cooking or baking, she was more than happy to use the state of the art tools her husband insisted on. This was different.

Way in the back, behind the shiny new pots and pans, there was a sheet. It was dark and dented from all the cookies it had seen. Beside it was a small Ziploc bag filled with festive plastic shapes. Kate felt her breath catch as her hands closed over a piece of her childhood. She was hit by a memory so strong that she could smell the cookies baking and hear her own childish laughter.

"Now, Mom? Can I cut them out now?" Kate Beckett, seven years old, with long dark hair and newly minted braces, danced excitedly.

"Not quite yet," her mother said with a smile. "We've just started."

Cutting out the cookies and decorating them was Kate's favorite part. She loved it even more than eating them. It was so much fun to give Santa a blue beard and to make the tree ornaments all different colors.

"We need some milk. Can you get that out of the fridge for me, Katie?"

"Sure!" She hurried over to the fridge and grabbed the box. It was full, and she almost dropped it.

When she got back to the sideboard, her mom handed her a little plastic cup. "Can you fill this without spilling it?"

"I'll try." Kate's mom always let her help make the cookies. She got to stir them and add stuff and everything.

When Kate got the milk in the cup and then the mixing bowl without spilling it, her mom said, "Good job."

Kate grinned, feeling proud of herself. With her mother's help, she confidently added the rest of the ingredients.

Afterwards, her mother said, "Now, remember, we have to put the dough in the fridge for a little while."

Kate had been so excited to cut them out and decorate them with sprinkles that she had forgotten that part. They only made their special cookies once a year—at Christmastime. Her face fell.

"Don't be sad, Katie." Her mom picked her up and held Kate close. She smelled like cookies and herbal tea and cinnamon.

Kate laughed as her mother twirled her around and started singing a Christmas song. The melody surrounded Kate and filled her until she had to join in.

The Kate of thirty years later hugged the bag of shapes to her chest as she used the counter to haul herself to her feet. Suddenly, she missed her mother terribly. She hadn't been able to make sugar cookies at Christmas since Johanna's murder. It had always been their special ritual, and the thought of baking the cookies alone broke her heart.

Kate's eyes filled with tears, and she set her teeth stubbornly against the pain.

A sound behind her made her turn, and she blinked back the unshed tears as she saw Rick come bouncing down the stairs with their two year old daughter in his arms. The baby was laughing and singing a familiar Christmas tune. She got most of the words wrong, but it was the same one Kate had been humming and the one Kate's own mother used to sing to her.

One of Kate's tears escaped to fall down her cheek. She brushed it away and a smile came to her face, spreading warmth through her right down to her heart. This was the reason Kate was finally making Christmas cookies again.

She thought her mother would have wanted it that way.


	4. Let it Snow

Let it Snow

By Tanya Reed

Notes: This is another one of my entries for the ABC Last Author Standing challenges. The challenge was for a character to make a wish and have it go either wrong or right. You'll have to make up your own minds which this is. This is for those who aren't really into fantasy and so aren't really following Prison of Darkness. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: ABC owns Castle.

XXX

"This is your fault," Kate said as she watched the big, silent flakes fall slowly to the ground.

It was dark both outside and in. The only light came from a generator powered bulb that dimly fought its way across the street through the storm. Everything had a hushed and surreal quality as the city rested in its thick blanket of snow.

"I'm sorry I kept you so late," Castle said, coming up behind her with one of the candles he had found in the office in his hand.

Kate just sighed and took the candle he offered, a penitent expression on his handsome face. In its small glow, it felt as if the two of them were the only people in the world.

"I really appreciate you staying to help me with The Haunt's books. Who knew a few small flakes would turn to this?"

By this, he meant about two feet of snow and a power outage. Both of which made it impossible to go home. They were locked in together until the snowplows started when it was all over. Locked in. Alone. In the dark.

"If I didn't know you couldn't control the elements, I'd say you planned it this way," she said crossly, forcing her eyes away from the way the candlelight flickered across his features. It was safer to look at the snow.

She could feel him there. The darkness made her senses more alert, and his warmth reached for her. It was so intimate that she could feel a small flutter of panic in the depths of her belly.

"It's going to be a cold night," he continued, obviously unaware of the discomfort she was feeling. "Luckily, I found a couple of sweaters behind the bar. Still, we might want to snuggle to keep warm."

Without looking at him, she knew his eyes were twinkling. She could hear it in his voice. In defiance of her jittery feelings, Kate turned so he could see her roll her eyes. When he chuckled, it brought a sweet puff of his breath to caress her face, and Kate felt her cheeks color.

"I suppose this is your idea of fun. Trapped in a bar for the night."

"I've been stuck in worse places."

She sighed and walked away from him, leaving him in darkness. She was relieved when he didn't follow.

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" he asked eagerly. "Cards? Drinking contest? Oh...Strip poker?"

"You do want to survive the night, right?"

To avoid looking at him, she went to the bar and started lighting more candles. There were six in all. She settled for lighting three, leaving the others for back up. In the soft candlelight, the room around her seemed from another time. Kate's mind filled the place with shadowy figures from the past.

"Well, the offer of snuggling is still open." The amusement was still in his voice as he came and took one of her newly lit candles.

"You're lucky I don't shoot you," she said calmly, fighting not to match his amusement.

"Why so violent, Detective Beckett?"

"Because this is all your fault. You wished for this."

"What do you mean I...Oh." She saw understanding dance through his eyes as they widened.

"What did you say yesterday?" she prodded, bringing up her candle to shine in his eyes like a questioner's spotlight.

He blinked. "Beckett, I..."

"Castle?" She raised an eyebrow at him, firmly keeping the smile that was trying to break free from showing on her face.

"I said..." She waited patiently. "...I said, 'I wish it would snow.'"

"Aha!" she announced. "Right from your own lips. Be careful what you wish for, Castle."

His smile returned, almost dazzling in its brightness. "It's not so bad."

She was momentarily distracted by his dimples. With effort, she flicked her eyes away from them to met his gaze. "Not so bad? We are snowed in. Stuck in a bar. In the dark. With no heat. What is remotely good about this scenario?"

"You don't know?"

"Why don't you enlighten me?" she asked, slightly irritated.

He moved a little closer, and when he spoke again, his words tingled over her skin. "It's obvious, Beckett. I'm snowed in. Stuck in a bar. In the dark. With no heat. With you."


	5. Rain

Rain

by Tanya Reed

Notes: This was another abc_las challenge. The prompt was an afternoon thunderstorm.

Disclaimer: ABC owns everything.

XXX

The first drop of rain caught them three blocks away from the car and at least thirty feet from any shelter whatsoever. It came on suddenly. Black clouds rolled in while they were examining the crime scene. Thunder rolled before the body was even in the van. Kate found herself without even a jacket as the first raindrop splashed against her cheek.

"Castle," she said, "I think it's going to rain."

He looked up, and Kate saw another drop plop onto his forehead.

"I think you're right," he said, brushing a silk sleeve across his face.

The words were barely out of his mouth when the sky let loose a loud boom that seemed to shake the grass under Kate's feet. It got deathly quiet for the amount of time it took to take a breath.

"I think we'd better..." was as far as she got before the skies opened up.

Everything was instantly drenched. The sidewalks. The cars. Kate herself. It was almost as if someone had thrown a giant bucket of water on the city. The rain was so thick and heavy that Kate had trouble seeing through it.

"Come on," Castle said loudly, pointing to an overhang on a nearby building.

Kate nodded, and they raced through the rain. It beat on Kate's body, soaking her hair and making small rivers run down her face. She could feel it dripping off of her nose and her chin.

Castle got to the shelter first, and he pulled her in beside him.

"Wow!" he said gleefully.

Kate reached up to rake damp tendrils of hair out of her face. It didn't stop the trickles from running down her cheeks, but at least it allowed her to see. Another rumble, one that she felt as well as heard, joined the sound of the pounding rain.

"Where did this come from?" she wondered aloud. "It wasn't supposed to rain today."

She glanced at Castle and had to smile. His hair stuck up at different angles, beaten into odd shapes by the rain, and his shirt stuck to his chest. Excitement danced through his eyes.

"What a storm!" he exclaimed in that same gleeful voice.

Kate watched the people rushing around in it, seeking shelter. Most of them had something thrust over their heads, trying to deflect the rain.

"Do you like thunderstorms, Castle?" The sky grumbled as if it too wanted to know the answer.

"I always have."

"When I was a little girl," she admitted with a wistful smile, "my father and I used to dance in the rain. My mother said we were lunatics, but Dad always said the rain could wash all the bad away and make everything new."

The memory came to her, soft and sweet. She could feel her father's arms and hear his gentle laughter.

"There's something wonderful about the rain," Castle agreed.

She looked down when his hand touched hers. His fingers were damp but warm.

"Come on," he said softly, giving her a little tug.

Her eyes went from his hand to his face. "What?"

He left their shelter to step out into the pouring rain. His hand still held hers.

"You're crazy, Castle," she said, fighting amusement and just a little excitement.

"It will be fun."

"I don't think..."

He just stood there, looking at her expectantly. The rain immediately began to drip off of his face and from his fingertips.

Her rational brain said she should fight it, but the impulse was too strong. She gave in to it and let herself forget she was an adult as she slipped out of the shelter and into Castle's waiting arms.

The rain beating around them was suddenly music, and Castle was a firm, boyish presence. He smelled like old spice and felt like a part of her own body.

The years seemed to fall away as he twirled her, and Kate was a little girl again. She held her face up to the sky, and time seemed to freeze. There were no murderers. There was no death. She hadn't lost her mother or the place she called home. For just that instant, there was only joy. The rain washed everything else away.

Castle pulled her towards him again, and the moment was broken. It shattered around her, leaving only warmth and promise behind.

They continued to dance until they were breathless, and then he pulled her back to the shelter of the overhang.

His eyes were sparkling as he released her hand and said, "I told you it would be fun."

"All right, Castle. You got me," she said.

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Just where I want you?"

She laughed and hit him lightly on the arm. His face dimpled, and she flushed slightly. He was still looking pleased with himself as he dropped to the steps behind the overhang.

Kate joined him, putting a gentle hand on his knee. When he looked at her with surprise, she said, "I want to thank you. I forgot what it felt like. I didn't even know I missed it."

"Any time you need a dancing partner, I'm your guy."

She smiled and bumped her shoulder against him. They lapsed into companionable silence to wait for the thunder shower to stop. She didn't take her hand from his knee.


	6. The Promise

The Promise

Notes: Well, here is my latest challenge fic. It's not very good, but I hope you like it anyway. The prompt was "a character gets cancer". I really do no like writing these kinds of fic, and I think that's why this was so hard for me.

Disclaimer: Since I have not won a hundred billion dollars since my last posting, I still have no claim on Castle.

XX

Alexis Castle was the last person Kate expected to see when she opened her door that Sunday afternoon. The teenager was dressed a little too warmly for the summer sun, and her hair was done up in a messy ponytail. There were no signs of her usual smile or dimples. Instead, worry lines marred her forehead, and her solemn blue eyes were rimmed with dark smudges that looked almost like bruises.

"Alexis, hi," Kate said, concern pushing away her surprise. "Come in."

There was tension in the girl's body as she crossed the threshold. Her hands were stuck in her jacket pockets and there was uncertainty in her expression.

"I'm sorry to bother you at home, Detective Beckett," she said immediately, turning to face Kate as Kate closed the door.

"It's all right. Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you." Alexis shook her head. Tendrils of red hair fell across her pale face.

"Is everything okay?" Kate asked gently. "Have you heard...?"

Alexis's voice was very quiet as her eyes turned to the floor and she bit her lip. "We'll find out tomorrow."

Kate led Alexis over to the couch, and they both sat. She watched the teenager closely, waiting for her to speak.

Alexis stared at her hands for a long time. Kate didn't push her. It was hard for anyone to face their mortality. She couldn't imagine what it was like for a seventeen year old girl. Seventeen was pushing boundaries. It was trying to discover the person you were meant to be. It should never be wondering if you'll see another Christmas or what would happen if you died.

"I didn't know where else to go." When she finally spoke, Alexis's voice was still quiet.

"You know I'll do my best to help."

She nodded slowly. Then, she swallowed and raised her eyes to Kate's. The worry Kate saw there broke her heart. She fought to keep this from her face as she silently waited for Alexis to continue.

"There was no one else. Gram's strong, but I don't think she's strong enough. You're the only one who can understand."

"What do you need?"

"Your word."

Kate's eyebrows rose.

"If something happens to me," Alexis continued, "If I die."

Kate reached out and took slender white fingers in her own. She squeezed them gently. "It's going to be okay, Alexis. You're going to be okay."

She shook her head almost violently. "But, if I'm not...What if I'm not?"

Kate had no answer for this.

"Detective Beckett, if I die, will you look after my father?"

The words surprised her into a somewhat squeaky, "What?"

"I'm worried about my dad. Will you look after him? Will you help him to keep on living? You know what it's like, and he's going to need you. Will you do this for me?"

Kate let out a soft sigh as she remembered a similar scene from almost a year before. On that day, it had been Castle himself asking her to look out for Alexis if something ever happened to him. She had been so touched then that tears had come to her eyes. Again, she squeezed Alexis's hand as emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Alexis's eyes were so earnest and sad. There were tears on the girl's lashes, threatening to fall. A lump came to Kate's throat, and she realized that the eldest Castle wasn't the only one who could stab her in the heart.

Kate had to swallow twice before she said, her voice a little rough, "Of course I will. I'll be there when he needs me."br

The tension went out of Alexis's body, and the corner of her mouth turned up slightly as she attempted a smile.

"Thank you," she said simply.

Kate gave her a small smile of her own. "If you need anything, just let me know. I'll be here."

"That means a lot. If it...well, if things turn out badly...it will be good to have someone outside to talk to. I love my dad, but..."

"You don't want to hurt him. You don't want him to know how afraid you are."

Alexis dropped her eyes again. "Yeah."

"Call me. I promise I'll answer."

Alexis sighed heavily, as if putting aside a burden, and got to her feet. "I'd better go. I waited until Dad was taking a nap to come over. He won't let me out of his sight. He's so scared. It scares me to see how scared he is."

"Do you need a ride home?"

"No. I brought the car." She met Kate's eyes. "I don't know how to thank you."

"Just take care of yourself. You'll call me?"

"As soon as I know."

Alexis gave Kate a quick hug before hurrying out of the apartment. Kate watched her go, a heavy pressure pushing against her chest. She had come to care for Alexis deeply, and she wished she could make everything turn out okay, but cancer wasn't a criminal she could could track down and neutralize with her fists or with her gun. It was bigger than she was. She felt so helpless.

But at least there was one thing she could do. She had made a promise to Alexis, and she intended to keep it. No matter what.


	7. Too Late

Too Late

by Tanya Reed

Notes: This story contains spoilers for for Countdown. I wrote it in response to another challenge. The prompt for this one was "stranded". The story didn't turn out as well as I wanted, but I stretched a little and actually wrote a story from Kevin's point of view.

Disclaimer: Castle and its characters belong to ABC.

XX

Love.

That was the first thing that went through Detective Kevin Ryan's mind. It wasn't horror or grief but a certainty that what he was seeing was a beautiful sculpture about the meaning of love.

The couple sat entwined, their arms wrapped around each other in affection, their heads lovingly resting together. For one brief second, Kevin felt like an intruder. This intimacy was something no one else should see.

He stood there, frozen, for a heartbeat. His body didn't feel the cold biting at his fingers and toes, and his mind refused to see reality.

Then Esposito, Kevin's partner, yelled, and Kevin drew in a breath. The world started again, and everything was awash with movement and confusion. Pain stabbed into Kevin's heart, and it wasn't because of the cold freezer around him.

He rushed forward with Esposito as his brain crashed into the reality he had been denying. He wasn't seeing a beautiful sculpture. He was seeing two of his best friends, friends who had been stranded for who knew how long in the freezer, wrapped together to fight the piercing cold. Though ice hung from their hair and eyelashes, and their skin was translucent gray, they were not made of ice. Somewhere underneath were fragile vessels of flesh.

Esposito reached them first. He knelt down, saying, "Beckett...Beckett..."

His hand touched her skin, brushing over it, and Kevin could see the same horror and fear that he knew must be on his own face.

With the pounding of sirens, the paramedics and one sleepy doctor they had called arrived. The medical personnel rushed in, gently pushing Kevin and Esposito aside. Josh, the doctor, and the only one Kevin knew, carefully examined first Beckett, then Castle. He didn't try to separate them, which Kevin thought was odd.

"Are they alive?" Kevin demanded, choking over the words. "Are they going to be okay?"

Josh turned to look at him. His face was almost the color of the freezer around them. The truth was in his eyes.

"We're too late." His voice was so quiet that Kevin had to strain to hear him. "Maybe five minutes...maybe ten...we were so close..."

Kevin's next breath was more like a gasp. His knees began to tremble. He could hear someone saying, "...no...no..." and didn't know whether it was him or Esposito.

They were too late...They were too late. If only he had been faster or stronger. If only he had defied orders earlier. If only he had become suspicious without Alexis's call...if only...if only...

Beckett and Castle were dead because of him. He had not been good enough, and they had paid the price.

"I wasn't fast enough," he mumbled, letting his legs collapse beneath him.

He didn't care if he was showing weakness. Their faces went through his mind, two of the best friends he had ever had. Now, they were gone. Their friends and their families would never see them again.

It was all his fault.

Kevin jerked awake, slightly disoriented. His face and his pillow were both wet, and he didn't have to wonder why. The tears were still falling, and his chest was tight and heaving. His body was shaking, and he bit his lip as he tried to bring everything under control. He didn't want to wake Jenny again.

"Kevin?" Her sleepy voice came to him, an anchor in his sea of horror and grief.

She turned to look at him, and he could see the faint outline of her face in the dim moonlight coming in their bedroom window.

"Kevin, are you okay?"

He couldn't answer her. He forced the lump from his throat and tried to shake off the image of Castle and Beckett permanently frozen in a loving embrace.

"You had that dream again, didn't you?"

Tender arms wrapped around him, and Kevin clung to the one thing he knew was real. He buried his face in Jenny's shoulder and took a deep breath. The solid reality of her stopped his tears as she gently ran her hand across his back.

"It's okay, Kevin," she said softly. "It's okay. Remember, Sweetie, you were on time. Beckett and Castle are okay."

He let her words sooth him, and, not for the first time, he was thankful to have her in his life. This was what true love really was. It wasn't a picture of two lovers. It was the day to day giving and support of someone who really cared about you. He didn't know what he would do without her.

Jenny gave him an extra hard squeeze and repeated firmly, "You were on time."

He remembered now. He had been on time. He had saved Beckett and Castle. They were found in the same loving embrace as in his dream, but they were merely unconscious. They had gone on to save New York City, and that meant, in a way, that Kevin had saved New York City. All because he was on time.

He had not been too late.


End file.
